Saturday, April 3, 2010

March 31-April 2: Glenwood, AR, Mena, AR, and Waldron, AR-4:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.

On Wednesday we had a 6:30 a.m. call for our 56 mile jump to Glenwood. It seemed like a long drive with all of the winding back roads we were taking.

We were playing on a dirt lot right by one of the main roads in town, and it was a sunny day.

Ryan and I made squibs this morning while watching one of the worst movies I have ever seen, "The Ape".
Here is the synopsis: Determined to write the next great American novel, family man Harry Walker (James Franco, also directing his feature film debut) leaves his job as a corporate scrub, moves out of his house and rents an apartment to help him focus. But when he unexpectedly discovers he has a roommate -- a trash-talking gorilla with an affinity for Hawaiian shirts -- Harry's plans go down the drain. Brian Lally portrays the scatological simian.

I first saw this film at a mall in Texas; the back of the DVD case said everything above INCLUDING the promise of gorilla wet willies.
I knew that I must see this movie.
Since I knew I would only watch it once, I rented it on Netflix. I was expecting a Pauly Shore-esque comedy, but it turned out to be a horrible independent film.
Don't waste your time; the trash talking, the poo flinging, the Hawaiian shirts, nay, NOT EVEN the gorilla wet willies aren worth putting up with the horrible acting and incoherent plot.

We had a full first show; it was hot in the tent, but the audience was very an Arkansas kind of way.
I kept cracking Ryan up with my comments during the table act. During our two kissing bits (one where he kisses up my arm and stops face to face with me, and one where he kisses me on the nose), I made shot gun cocking noises.
Then, at the end of the act, when Tatiana comes out of her dress with the laundry line of clothes, I quipped, "Now I recognize her! She's my cousin!"

We had another full house for the second show, and we topped off the evening with a hilarious BBQ, sharing lots of stories from our pasts.

On Thursday we had a 6:30 a.m. call for a 52 mile jump to Mena. When I got to the lot, a very bumpy, grass lot, Tavo told me that there was a dump station that I could use.
I had just dumped my tank before Hugo, but I figured why not keep ahead of the game.
I turned my rig around to head to the station, when all of a sudden I heard a horrible metallic grinding.
Tavana was standing nearby and shouted to me that my wheel was coming off. Sure enough, one of the wheels on the driver side of the trailer was sticking out at a diagonal angle.

After professional analyses from Casey, Danny, Castro, and Leslie, the prognosis was this: my bearings broke open, which allowed the drum to slide off. All my lug nuts stayed on the hub, and miraculously there was no damage done to my spindle. Also, thank God it waited to do this now instead of on the road.

Danny took me to a trailer place in town where I picked up a new hub and some shackles for my spring hangers. I'm glad he was with me, because I was clueless as to what all I needed.

Back at the lot, Fridman and Castro went to work on putting the new hub on the tire and fixing the spring hanger shackles.
When it was time to put the tire back on, it was discovered that it was incredibly worn. I brought out my spare trailer tire, only to discover that there was a nail in it!

Danny, Fridman, John Moss, and I had a little "Boys Day Out", all jammed in the flat bed truck, to get parts that we needed.
We stopped by a tire place where they luckily had a used tire the size that I was looking for. They also went to work patching the hole where the nail had been in the spare.

We then revisited the trailer place; unfortunately the guys who worked there were at lunch, so we ended up waiting around for an hour until they returned to get us all what we needed.

Once I came back with the better tires, Castro got everything fixed for me. Many thanks to everyone that helped make this potentially disastrous day go surprisingly smooth.

Both shows today were almost full; the only obstacle we had to overcome was the strong wind blowing into the back door.

After the shows Jessi and I did a Wal Mart run for supplies. While I was there I ran into one of the guys from the trailer shop. He and his family had just been at the show and they told me how much they enjoyed it.

On Friday we had a 6:30 a.m. call for our 38 mile jump to Waldron. I got up early so I could dump my septic tank on the lot in Mena (since the last attempt didn't go so well).

We were on a tight dirt and rock lot today and it was overcast with the promise of bad storms tonight.

I declared it "Zombie Day" in my trailer. I watched "Zombieland" and played "Left 4 Dead 2" for awhile this afternoon.

It started to rain just in time for the first show. It wasn't raining too hard, but all the precipitation was all blowing into the back door.

Adrian Poema was nursing an injury today, so there was no risley act for both shows. This meant that we didn't do walkarounds to give us enough time to get ready for the exterminator gag.

We had an average sized crowd for the first show. By the time the table gag rolled around, the ring mat was covered in muddy water. Falling in it repeatedly did not put me in a very good mood.

We had a decent sized crowd for the second show, but they had a ton of energy. The slide table and exterminator gags were basically reduced to mud wrestling. Every time we fell it was into a puddle, and we were splashing up water and slipping all over the ring mat.
The audience loved it though; I think they realized the ridiculousness of it all and were very appreciative.

All of the webs had big knots on the bottoms to keep the ropes out of the mud. This made setting web very difficult (for me at least. I AM about the worst web setter in the history of the American circus).
When I was getting Jessi into the fast spin, the end of the rope came up and slapped me in the face.
If I had the ability to "Hulk out", that would have been the perfect opportunity.

We need to start writing gags where we don't fall down.

April 5- Ozark, AR
April 6- Day Off
April 7- Heber Springs, AR


Harry Kingston said...

Lets hope you will have some money left over at the end of the season with all your repairs.
Maybe you can write it all off on your income tax for next year as a loss.
I am saying a clown prayer your motor does not burn up next, would be a real bummer on the road.
Sure hope it gets better for you soon.
P. S. How is Ryan doing with his rig on any repairs if any?????

Cinema67 said...


It's about time for an updated "Duckling" report.

They haven't dumped you and headed on down the road already I hope.